Great Dane Wisdom

When do you realize that you are the owner of a Great Dane?

• You give the command to sit and he runs backwards until he finds a chair

• You need three people at the vet to get him onto the scale.

• You have to step aside while brushing your teeth because your dog wants to take a drink.

• Your legs are green and blue, because they are permanently whipped by a cheerful wagging tail.

• You have learned to answer with a forced smile when asked you whether you have a saddle for "that thing".

• All small items in the house are stored at the 7 foot mark.

• You have bought an extra sofa - just for the dog.

• You always have a measuring tape along, when shopping for a new vehicle.

• You throw your dog the ball and are scared to death when he hits his head at the top of the door frame.

• You hide your favorite pastry on the top shelf in the kitchen and when you come home it is all gone - and your dog has powdered sugar on his nose.

• You drive with your dog and since your right arm is his head rest, you constantly make uncontrolled right turns.

• Any deliveries to your house must be picked up at the end of the driveway.

• Your friends are always very polite in your house, because nobody dares to be your enemy.

• Your dog can swallow a pack of butter whole.

• You gave up on water bowls since your dog prefers your bath tub as a dish.

• Your friend put an object up high, so that the dog cannot get it. The only one that can reach is, is your dog.

• You had to teach your dog not to lick the plates in the sink.

• You buy a mini van, even though your kids moved out years ago and already have families of their own.

• You set the table for 5 people but only have 4 chairs.

• You hide your dinner in the microwave.

• You hear heavy breathing in the middle of the night, but it is not your spouse.

• While stopped at a red light, people are looking at you funny because your car bounces up and down, in rhythm with the panting dog that is looking out of the window.

• You are talking to someone and the nose of your dog is anchored firmly between your legs.

• Your dog is capable of hiding a tennis ball (and other things) behind his lips and looks at you innocently as if to say "I am not eating anything".

• All guest entering your house protect their sensitive body parts with their hands.

• You are vacuuming your car and find the most hair on the ceiling.

• You try to sneak out of the house, because you are afraid that your dog will mess up your make-up.

• You are trying your hardest to hold your dog between your legs, when the door bell is ringing. Instead your are approaching the door in a full gallop.

• Your neighbor calls you very excited and tells you that he found bear tracks in his backyard.

• Your dog wakes you up nervously in the middle of the night, to warn you of the dangers of a kitchen chair. A week later, he doesn't even wake up, when burglars steal all of your valuables.

• People ask you if your dog has the personality of a dog or a cow.

• Your come home and find a lake on the kitchen floor because your dog found out, how to use the ice maker on the refrigerator.

• You bought a big screen TV and still cannot watch it, since your dog is standing in front of the screen.

• You have special marked drool rags conveniently spread throughout your house.

• And now each Great Dane owner will realize - with a smile on his face - how normal his life is and that he is not alone in this world.

10 Requests of a Dog to his Owner

• My life expectancy is 10 to 15 years or longer. Any separation from you will mean suffering for me. Remember this, before you add me to your life.

• Give me time to understand what you ask of me. Give me confidence in me, because I need it.

• Don’t be angry with me for long and never lock me up as a punishment! You have your work, your pleasure, your friends - I have only you.

• Talk to me sometimes. Even if I cannot quite understand your words, but I understand the voice that is talking to me.

• Know: However I am treated - I will never forget it.

• Remember, bevor you hit me, that my jaw could crush with ease every bone in your body but I will not make use of it.

• Before you call me unwilling to work, stubborn or too lazy, remember: Maybe inappropriate food bothers me, maybe I was too long out in the sun or I am just not feeling well.

• Walk any difficult path with me. Never say, "I cannot watch this" or "It will have to happen in my absence." Because EVERYTHING IS EASIER FOR ME WITH YOU AT MY SIDE.

Just a toy

You looked into my eyes and it was done. You took me home and I followed you curiously.

You took me for walks and were proud, when you felt the envy of the other people. You romped and played with me, and you felt happy for a while.

Then I had an accident on the carpet and you did not laugh about it. Then you had to leave, I did not know where to, but I felt, that I was a bother to you.

Then I got bigger, you did not have the time. I wanted to be good, but pretty soon there was trouble. I was frustrated and chewed on the furniture. That was too much and you yelled at me.

Then you spoke of training and being firm and I could smell your anger. You banished me from your home, the kennel I left rarely.

You gave me food and water and thought, that this was enough for me. You found a new toy and were fed up with dogs.

Then I got sick, was laying in the straw all alone. I thought, my heart would never mend and be happy again. Then you stopped cleaning my kennel and only brought food.

I knew then and there, it is almost over, because nobody could hear my silent cry. I crossed, far away from you, to a better place.

I will never chew on your socks again and bury them in the garden.

I will never wake you in the morning by pushing my cold and wet nose under your blanket.

I will never use your tooth brush as a chew toy.

The only thing that is left, is a long and sad look back. So much suffering for such a little piece of heaven. I ask you, why did you love me? I was only a toy to you.

You wanted me, you got me, and you took my whole life away from me. You did not give a lot about my feelings.

Your heart is cold, it will never be warm. Even with all these toys, you still are poor.

   A letter to my owner....

You got up early this morning and packed your suitcase. You took my leash, and I was happy. A little walk before vacation? We took the car and you stopped at the edge of the road, the door opened and you threw a stick. I ran and ran until I found the stick. When I came back to the spot where we stopped, you were gone. I ran around in panic and looked for you, but to no avail. I got weaker and weaker. A strange man came and put a collar on me and took me along.

I found myself in a cage waiting for your return, but you never came. The cage was opened. No, it was not you. It was the man that found me. He brought me into a room that smelled of death. My end neared.

Beloved owner, I know that you know, even though you have caused suffering, I will keep your picture in my mind.

And should I ever return to earth... I would run toward you, because I love you.   

A Great Dane is like a potato chip - you can never have just one!!!!!